Jennifer Reefe

Never Feeling Good Enough: The Battle I Didn’t Know I Was Fighting

For most of my life, I moved through the world with a quiet ache that I couldn’t name. No matter how hard I tried, I never felt good enough. I was the one who always smiled, always agreed, always tried to be exactly what everyone else needed me to be. I thought if I could just make people like me – all of them – then maybe I would finally feel worthy.

Woman looking hopefully out of a window.

But it never worked.

The more I tried to please others, the worse I felt. I was bullied. I never said no. I poured my energy into pleasing people who didn’t even care for me in the first place. Their approval became my compass, and when I didn’t get it, I collapsed inside. I would ask myself over and over:

Why is this happening to me?

What am I doing wrong?

Why can’t I just fit in?

I thought everyone else had the secret code to belonging… except me.

What I didn’t see back then was that I wasn’t broken—I was conditioned. I had learned, without anyone intending harm, that other people’s opinions mattered more than my own. I’d learned that being “good” meant keeping the peace, not taking up space, not disappointing anyone. Those beliefs became rules, unspoken but powerful, and I lived by them as if they were unchangeable.

And slowly, without realizing it, I built myself a prison.

A prison made of thoughts.

A prison I didn’t know I had the key to.

For years, I lived in that tightening space—fearful, overthinking, exhausted from chasing approval I could never truly secure. I believed I had no choices. I believed life was happening to me, not through me. And the more trapped I felt, the more I lost myself.

But eventually the pain became too loud to ignore. Life kept handing me the same lessons, the same experiences wrapped in different people and situations. And finally, I began to ask a new question:

What if the change I’ve been waiting for… is actually me?

That question cracked the door open.

It started small—self-reflection, books, conversations, emotional healing. And then it grew into a deep, life-changing realization:

It was never the world that needed to change.

It was the story I had been telling myself.

The beliefs I never questioned.

The fear-based thoughts I assumed were truth.

I learned that I wasn’t powerless.

I wasn’t unlovable.

I wasn’t broken.

I was simply conditioned – and conditioning can be rewritten.

Through my own inner work, I discovered self-compassion. I uncovered the patterns that had kept me stuck. I learned to understand my emotions instead of fearing them. And piece by piece, I rebuilt a relationship with myself that felt safe, solid, and loving.

And now?

I see this same story reflected in so many of my clients.

Different countries.

Different cultures.

Different families.

But the same theme:

“I’m not enough unless others approve of me.”

“I must earn love.”

“Something is wrong with me.”

These beliefs run deep. They shape how we show up, how we speak, how we hide, how we live. They quietly sabotage our confidence, relationships, opportunities, and self-worth.

But here’s the truth I wish I had learned decades earlier:

You don’t have to wait a lifetime to feel free.

You have the power to change these patterns now.

You can rewrite your story today.

And that is exactly why I created The Tapping Tribe.

Why The Tapping Tribe Exists

I built this community because I didn’t want anyone to spend years feeling trapped the way I did. Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) changed my life. It helped me release beliefs I thought were carved in stone. It helped me find my own voice, my own safety, my own worth.

I want others to experience that same shift – without waiting decades, without carrying their pain alone, without thinking they have no options.

The Tapping Tribe is a space where people learn to transform their inner world with simple, powerful tools that work right here, right now. You don’t need permission. You don’t need years of suffering. You don’t need to keep proving yourself.

You only need the willingness to begin.

Because the freedom you’re searching for isn’t “out there.”

It’s already inside you, waiting to be unlocked.

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